How to bake a pie in half a day

a. Purchase Martha Stewart pie pan "for inspiration and imminent use"

a1. Break out pan for the first time in an entire calendar year and copy the instructions from bottom as they will be obstructed shortly.

b. Make dough with food processor (easy peasy--10 minutes tops)

c. Form dough into disk and place in fridge for the minimum suggested time--1 hour

d. Take dough out of fridge and wait 20-30 minutes for it to come back to room temperature

d1. Poke at it with rolling pin every ten minutes, just "to check" to see if it's ready

e. Wrestle with rolling pin/floured surface/semi solid dough until desired thickness and roundness is acheived.

f. Place dough in pan, crinckle edges and place in freezer for 15 minutes while simultaneously pre-heating over.

g1. Continue multi-tasking by cleaning floor/counter/self/husband as there is flour EVERYWHERE


h. Retrieve pan from icy tomb and layer with parchement paper + pie weights. Place in oven for 15 minutes.

i. Attempt to make batter. Use expletive of choice as it's evident that pre-made pumpkin pie mix, not pumpkin puree was purchased. (Using the pumpkin pie mix would be a simple subsitution but this would take away from the "from scratch" feel of current endeavor.) No, the mix will not do.

i1. Take pie crust out of oven, remove weights and paper and shove back in, for another 25 minutes.

k. With 2nd baking complete, correct pie mix mistake by rushing back to grocery store.

l. Mix pumpkin puree with eggs, pinches of this, splashes of that.

m. Following instructions, place pie pan in cookie sheet, pour mixture into pan, and set timer to 55 minutes.

m1. Make a mental note of time: 60 minutes before needing to head out to the evening's activity--pumpkin patch and corn maze with friends.

n. Timer goes off. Check pie. Frown. Pie is completely wet and uncooked in the middle. Take cookie sheet out, place pie back in oven and hope for a 5 minute miracle. No such luck. Curse Martha and her home-baked ways.

o. Do the only sensible thing. Turn off oven, leave pie untouched, and hope residual heat will work its magic while heading out the door to enjoy less labour intensive fall activities.

p. 2 hours later. Saunter back into house and place perfectly baked pie in the fridge to cool.



q. 2 hours after that. Enjoy the fruits of labour and search recycle bin for $1 off coupon Costco Pumpkin pie thrown out the day before.